


The silence of an empty room

by Meriani



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: SnK 105 spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-07
Updated: 2018-05-07
Packaged: 2019-05-03 15:16:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14571777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meriani/pseuds/Meriani
Summary: After the events of chapter 105, Mikasa has to face how empty her room now is.





	The silence of an empty room

**Author's Note:**

> This was heavily inspired by [these headcanons](http://aboutmikasa.tumblr.com/post/173591120124/headcanons-mikasa-doesnt-allow-anyone-in-her) I've read on Tumblr, about Mikasa after chapter 105. They haunted me so much I had to write something with them to get them out of my head.
> 
> It was a challenge, I'm not used to Mikasa's POV at all...

The first morning after they’d come back to the Survey Corps quarters, Mikasa woke up and rolled out of bed as she usually did. Habit made her go to Sasha’s bunk, rubbing the remainders of sleep out of her eyes, to wake the young woman up so they wouldn’t be late for breakfast.

Only the empty bed greeted her, and the full force of her friend’s absence hit her again, like a punch in the face. She took a few steps back, hastily got dressed and fled the almost deafening silence of the room.

* * *

 

When Mikasa came back from the funeral, the empty, unused bed was the only remainder of Sasha’s former presence in the room. The rest of her few belongings had been returned to a grim-faced Mr. Braus. Mikasa had been the one to pack her friend’s things up to give them back. She had felt so _wrong_ while doing it, as if Sasha could have showed up and asked what she was doing. But of course she hadn’t – the dead never came back, she knew it all too well – and she had gathered clothes and the rest of Sasha’s stuff with a heavy heart.

The bed was the only thing left, but it was more than enough to remind her every time she saw it that her friend wasn’t there anymore. Mikasa could swear that her waking up regularly in the middle of the night for no apparent reason was due to absence of Sasha’s soft snoring and fidgeting in her sleep. Rather than the noise she had wished would stop countless times before, it was now the _lack_ of it that regularly woke her up. She never imagined she could miss something like that.

How could silence be so hard to listen to?

* * *

 

“Sasha, how many times did I tell you to close the…”

Mikasa stopped right in the middle of her sentence and froze, her heart suddenly squeezed tight in her chest. Pinching her lips, she tried to keep the sadness that came lurking back at bay. And failed.

For some time, she stood in the doorway of their… her bedroom, trying to wrap her mind around the painful fact once more. She then slipped in and quickly shut the door closed behind her, leaning heavily on it.

When she lifted her gaze, her eyes almost immediately fell on the bed nearest to her. It was carefully made, blanket perfectly folded, pillow right in the middle, not a rumple. Sasha seldom made her bed, and when she did, it was so hastily than the result could barely be called that. Mikasa distinctly remembered how she’d made it for her the morning of their departure for Marley, not wanting to leave things so untidy for them to return to after several days… Somehow, it had not occurred to her that it might be a useless thing.

The quietness of the room was unnerving. It often was, since they’d come back, about two weeks ago. Mikasa had never really noticed how much she’d grown accustomed, fond, even, to Sasha’s endless chatter and usually cheerful mood.

It felt so weird not having the young woman around, rushing whatever thing she was doing so she could go to lunch or dinner sooner, and pressing Mikasa to do the same so she’d be able to go with her. And then happily babble all the way to the canteen…

Mikasa shook her head, pushing the memories back and sitting heavily on her own bed. Gone, she was gone. And the absence of her endless talking echoed in the empty room more loudly than its presence ever had.

* * *

 

“You know you could ask for someone new to be transferred to your room, if you want.”

“I know.”

She felt a familiar sadness twinge her heart. It wasn’t the first time someone told her that. Almost two months had gone by since Sasha’s passing, back in the sky above Marley, but Mikasa still wasn’t used to her friend being gone. They’d shared the same room for such a long time that she couldn’t even imagine having anyone else than the exuberant young woman use this space.

During the first weeks, no one had commented on that, nor tried put someone else in the empty bunk. Mikasa was thankful for that quiet show of comprehension, but she also knew that it wasn’t going to last very long anymore: the Survey Corps’ numbers had risen drastically in the last four years – and for once, _hadn’t_ dropped just as drastically during the last mission, even if there had been losses, of course – and the barracks, despite some hasty resizing, tended to get crowded quite easily. She soon would have to share with someone else.

In a way, maybe that was better? She was moving on – what other choice did she have ?– but it might help her. Not having the silence as only company whenever she went to her room. Tripping on someone else’s scattered stuff, maybe. Talk a bit in the mornings and evenings, even. Occasionally getting pissed for whatever reason. Go to shower together. Those small, everyday things.

Yes, even if it wouldn’t be the same, maybe that would be good.


End file.
